I was able to fix this, and for the sake of anyone else having this problem I'll give a brief explanation, and feel free to contact me should you require further explanation.
For which ever reason the latest version+bonus material is hosed on debian. Don't ask me why, or how. Download the latest Linux patch, and drop ONLY the System folder into your instillation. ONLY THE SYSTEM FOLDER SHOULD BE PATCHED!
Now, boot up the server, and enjoy. I'm now running a server again, for fifteen dollars opposed to the thirty dollars a 32 slot server might cost me elsewhere. Go VPS.
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