Need help setting up server, please forgive me.

[Malevolence]

ok, this is my first post, and first, i'd like to say: glad to be a part of the community and I love UT2k4. I would like to set up a listen server using the options in UT2k4 to host a game, so me, my friend, and my gf can play. I haven't been able to get this to work yet in ut2k3 or 2k4.

I know your going to tell me: 'read the tutorials, use the search button, there have been plenty of posts about this kind of stuff'...... yea, i know. I have spent 12+ hours reading these forums, and the tutorials and searching other websights to try and figure this out, but i have a pretty big problem. I'm a complete noob, and know almost nothing about networking, routers, modems, IPs, and the internet in general.

Ok, so if you're still reading heres the deal: I have windows xp pro, and under Network connections > Local Area Connection (and also) 1394 Connection > Properties > Advanced > Settings
General Tab: Off option selected (for firewall)
Exceptions Tab: all boxes 'checked' including "Play UT2004"

I have a Linksys 4 port (NR041) router, and a black Westell DSL modem provided by my ISP (Bell South). My router was givin to me, and I have no documentation for it, and no clue how to 'log on' to my router and configure options, or my modem for that matter. I'm such a noob, I have no idea what my IP adress is, or how to find out. I have looked at several things that apparently have my ip adress, but I've seen about 4-5 different adresses and don't know which one is which, or anything about them.
I assume, I have different adresses, for modem, adress for router, and maybe one for my computer or something, i really have no idea. For example: Back to the Network Connections > Status > Support Tab there are 3 addresses: IPAdress, Subnet Mask, and Default Gateway.... I assume IPAdress is my IP, but when i enter it into internet explorer adress bar, page not found.

When i try and host a game, I click the "advertise server" option. LAN games work fine, but my game doesn't show up on the internet server list at all. When my friend tries to host, his shows up on the server list, but with the infamous N/A ping.

Well, I have read that a lot of this could be problems with opening ports, port forwarding, NAT, etc.... So the first thing I tried to do, was unplug my router entirely, and just try to host with the cord going straight from my computer, to the modem, to the phone jack. Same deal, not showing up on server list.

The tutorial really isnt very helpful for me, because I'm not really interested in creating a batch file (wouldnt know how to anyway), I just want to run a listen server from the game menu so me and my friends can play together.
I don't have Norton Internet Security installed or any other crap like that, just the router, modem, and windows xp firewall. All security settings are set to Medium or lower in the Internet Explorer > Internet Options.
And I guess I should say, I don't know how to open ports, don't know how to forward ports, don't know how to set router to DMZ, and don't know how to configure my router or my modem.

I know you guys probably don't want to sit here and explain to me all about networking, and how to configure my router, and what IPs and ports are. "Read a book or sumthin, search the internet for networking info" i'm sure you will say. But any info you might be able to tell me, like why its not working, even straight through the modem with no router, or even a link to a website that has info on how to configure routers would be appreciated. I have been to the Linksys websight, and tried to look up information about my router, and read the manual and crap.... was a nice waste of about 3 hours. I even had a long ass talk with some support tech.

Btw, I think it really sux how you have to know all this crap and spend hours on end troubleshooting, just so you can play a video game online with your friends. I really miss the days when I could have my dial up modem, call my friends house, and his modem would answer the phone, and we would play some Doom2, or Duke3d Co-op story mode for hours on end.

Sorry for the long ass post, but i really want to play, and any help would be apreciated.