This is a wicked old thread, but someone else may come across it from a search or backtrack.
I've found that most of my own problems stemmed from not have the correct ports open on the firewall. I set everything up properly and it still wouldn't connect. If you run the web-based remote management, you must open no less than 12 ports to a UT3 dedicated server. Only the web mgt is configurable.
And please.... if you found this info helpful, please create an account and post your success (or failure) in this thread so that others may gain.
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